I Am A Chasidic Hippie.

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We tend to worry about our self image here in America. I have noticed that. We hoard it as if it is our only possession, this being obvious in the advent of bloggers and vanity sites.

In the tech world, if you write a little snippet of code to do something that no one ever uses, or if they do, they wouldn't care about, then all of a sudden a site with your name must go up, with all of the bells and whistles, and it must be presented as if you were James Gosling or Larry Wall.

I understand. I used to be an attention whore, too. I was a writer, or trying to be, and it was a big production, trying to look as cool if not cooler than the others in my genre already were.

Perhaps I have forgotten the self-image thing. I'm just not up for it anymore, I guess. I generally avoid putting my picture up, eventually I'll get around to it, but more so my online friends know what I look like more than trying to be a media star. I won't be one of those.

I don't wanna be one of those.

So, I'm in the bank, and my teller (I have got to remember her name... it's simply rude not to know) has had plenty of questions about Judaism, especially since I look like I walked out of Crown Heights. I always answer them, which leads to a delightful conversation about this, that, and the other.

I don't get excited and bent out of shape about the fact that she thinks Messianic "Jews" (Vegetarians for Meat is another way you will hear me refer to them) are a valid sect of Judaism. I simply encourage her study, and thank my lucky stars that we (Torah Jews, actual Jews) are thought well of.

We had a recent discussion about Shabbat, and how Jews celebrate Shabbat with rest and the best of everything. She asked if she could celebrate Shabbat. I suggested that it would be an awesome idea. There's a website called Sabbath Manifesto that is perfect. It's sponsored by a group called Reboot, and I was glad to be able to share it.

Today, she wanted to know more about myself and our family, because, as she put it, I was "so laid back." I was informed that she had been studying more about Orthodoxy and the impression that she was left with was something to the effect of what I call the "Orthodox Snub." I did explain the concept of yichud, and how my wife and I avoid any physical contact with the other gender, or be in a closed room with them.

So yes, we're strict. And then the discussion progressed to the differences between Haredi, Chabad, and Breslov. The latter is how I came to the title of this post.

I said that in the Chassidic world, Chabad was the "geeks," and Breslov would be the "hippies."

I am an ultra-orthodox geeky hippie.

I like it that way.

Areivut, Et Al.

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Did I ever mention that I started a blog to go with my study course? Did I even mention my study course?

Probably not.

One of the things that resided in my mind from the very beginning of this adventure into Judaism was to follow the rabbinical path. Perhaps in the beginning, to be brutally honest, it was the vision of a kid that wanted yet another title.

Let's face it. I'm turning 40 soon, and that means to a great extent that if I do take statistics to heart, and I am fortunate enough (G-d willing) to merit a full 80 years on Earth, then my life is half over.

Gone are the days of college life (I "enjoyed" the military instead). Away with the notions of all the frivolous chasing of co-eds as a single man. I don't miss them that much, to be honest with you.

Now is the time of Hillel, in regards to myself, anyway. I'll give you that he lived to be 120, and that he probably forgot more than I will ever learn about the Law. But we are both starting out at about age 40. It can also be understood the desire to know what all of the tradition is about enough to climb on top of the yeshiva and learn until they were frozen there.

I had a few editions of the Talmud, and frankly, they weren't doing me very much good. I donated them to a friend who would be far more prepared to use them. I am too easily distracted, and tend to swallow the cake only to attempt to remember what the icing looked like. You have to start from the beginning, learn the "little things", just like they say in hockey. So for me, that means Tanakh and Mishnah.

The current plan is basically a tractate a week, beginning with Tractate Berachos, in Seder Zeraim. Each mishnah is read, digested, elucidated, and written up at my site A-B-C. There will also be editing and additions at Wikipedia.

With an infant son that will eventually grow up to need this information at a much earlier date than I was allowed to gain it, I can only hope that it will make his life easier in some form or another than having to go through the search "around the city" as I did in order to finally "find the gate."

Others undoubtedly could use, or would choose to have this information at their fingertips, and with the advent of the technological world as it is, I see no other proper way to address the issue than to just go ahead and get it up and out there, available for perusal and correction by the world at large.

I may or may not ever actually become a rabbi. But I will learn and share what I learn, and hopefully that will be sufficient.

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